Agony of Defeat

Every year ABC's Wide World of Sports would change the image for Thrill of Victory. Agony of Defeat, however, was always the same image of Vinko Bogataj failing to make the ski jump. You can watch the video here. Sometimes defeat arrives so brutally that it can never be outdone from that moment forward.

Such is my battle to finish the blanket. I was slow to recognize defeat. I did math. It seemed to lean in my favor. Afterall, doesn't this seem like speed demon progress to you?

(24 rows x 187 stitches + 12 increases + 30 stitches over the 12 increases) / (4.5 hours x 60 minutes - 30 minutes for dinner - 15 minutes for tv channel surfing) = 20 stitches per minute

If the math has made your head hurt, lie down for awhile and hold a skein of alpaca across your brow. The dizziness will pass. Ask me how I know.

Now, I realize that I could have gotten something not quite right in my equation. I didn't exactly set out a stopwatch to measure the time I spent knitting. Even still at 15 or 10 stitches a minute, victory should have been mine. I still had two days left, if I took extreme measures for posting it in the mail.

I forgot to do the OTHER math. You know, this equation. . .

(1 side + 12 rows x 187 stitches) + (2 sides x 12 rows x 227 stitches) + (3 corners x (12 increases + 30 stitches over the 12 increases)) + the triangles. I'll wait if you need another lie down with the alpaca.

110 triangles knit entralac style all around the edge. The seemingly innocent, small, easy to knit triangles. The triangles that require a lot, an absurdly huge amount, 56 stitches to bind off eight of the original.

It was about the tenth or eleventh triangle that I realized defeat was inevitable.

I'm off to knit a scarf or a hat or something small that requires only one skein of yarn. With big needles. US19's sound good. And bulky wool. I've got some Burly Spun in the stash. All knit stitches. Good old reliable garter stitch.

Instant gratification on the rocks, please.